What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 07:59
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
And i lived it daily.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Where's the Civil War everyone on the left said would happen?
She wouldn,t have been !
Comes on , in middle age.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
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What did i know ?
One cannot live in the past .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
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I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
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Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
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Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She married twice! .
When was you wife swapping fantasy started?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
So whats the point in blame.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
My life is so biszare .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
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.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Who then, do I blame.?
But ive been too sick for many years..
How do you get people to follow your Quora Space?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
We were not on the streets..
I did it because my mum asked me too!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
My family never makes their pension either.
What is a common thought that keeps people up at night? Why do some people experience this?
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I think the readers, may guess!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
So, i spoilt her more .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Ive learnt so much.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
She found it foreign!.
I have no regrets .
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I could never make a relationship work though!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I was 9 years of age.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
All the time i was locked up.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Put me off passion for life!!
I was scared of men, in general
Especially a lifetime of it.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Was to survive, this bastard.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I couldn’t, believe it.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I don,t even have a pension.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I never cut or harmed myself..
I will be 64.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
We all went to grammer schools
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Im still living with it.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Why did i forgive my father ?
As i do to all so called friends.?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But, we were locked up after school.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Would this be the day?
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I said to her
It was going to be , some day.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I write beautiful poetry .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
This is soul school!.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I know ,a lot about trauma.
When she asked me how she looked .
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I waited trembling.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
(And it was in our own minds.)
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I was very sick at this time too.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I was seconnd youngest,
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But it wasn’t much.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He knew the spot.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She was in good health!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
She loved him until the end.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He resisted the act ,that day.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..